Growing Children
With the start of a new school year, I have seen lots of adorable photos and posts about all of my friends' kids. Inevitably there are the comments about "Enjoying your kids because they grow up too fast" and such.
Grown kids are still your kids. Them being grown doesn't change that you are still a parent. And all those years that you endured tantrums, messes, illnesses, frustrations and then all the really great things too, those are the foundations for your lifelong relationships with your kids. And it really is okay if you don't enjoy it all.
It is okay if you feel overwhelmed, tired, annoyed or any other "less than perfect parent feeling" about raising kids. It is fine if you are glad to get a break, be it from a sitter, from school, from camp, etc. There is no rule that says you must enjoy every second of parenthood or else those will be the only things that are counted up to give you a score. If all parents are doing is trying to not get a failing score, then they aren't really enjoying everything anyway. (By the way, there are no scores.)
I'm only stating this because I think this "make believe fear of losing children once they are grown" and "make believe fear of being a bad parent if you're not loving the parenting process everyday" are causing negative emotions in a lot of parents. Don't create anxiety and depression in yourselves because you think you should be better than you are or because you think once your children don't NEED you, you will be obsolete.
Having growing children is a good thing. That means your kids are healthy and thriving and doing well. So if yours are growing too fast, that is awesome! If yours are pulling away from you and becoming independent, that is awesome! Celebrate the growth. Parenting is about raising functional adults who can raise the next generation.
Keep on posting cute photos and sharing your kids with your friends. Keep on doing life the way that works for you. But please don't feel bad if you ever don't love every step of the parenting journey. And don't feel bad that your kids are growing and thriving too fast because that's what they are meant to do.
And for the parents of grown kids, I'm there with you enduring their 2nd toddler-hood where they fail a lot, won't listen and throw fits when the answers they want don't come to them. We made it through the first time and we will make it through this time too. I think these are the hardest growing pains and toughest on my heart, mind and soul because I know I can't help. I want to help and I offer only solicited advice, but I can't help... not if I ever want them to truly be adults. I want my kids to be self sufficient. That doesn't mean alone. They need God and probably a help-mate, but they have to figure that out on their own.
This photo reminds me of my boys with their Toy Story puppets, as they called them. When one of my sons was young, he would tell strangers his name was Buzz Lightyear and most of the time, they would believe him.
