Thoughts on Parenting

The point of parenting isn't to produce a product. It is to unconditionally love another person, which is the point of all relationships. Parenting is unique because it is unequal from the beginning and remains unequal for life.(just like our relationship with God)

Although my children have become adults, I will never have a relationship based on us being at the same level or being equals in the sense of responsibility to the relationship.(Just like our relationship with God. He will always be God and I never will)

I will always be the "adult" in the relationship no matter how old they get, so in a conflict, I need to always be the bigger person, regardless of my hurts. (Just like our relationship with God. He always loves regardless of our sin)

Parenting isn't about me.(Just like our relationship with God- it isn't about me, it is about God) It isn't about how well I did anything.

It is about another person who I will continually fight for, give to, be present for and love when they are hard to love. (God is the one who loves and searches and does on our behalf)

Parenting is having someone who is always there for a person even though that person doesn't recognize it. (God is there even when we don't believe He is)

As a parent, I give my children the tools they will need in life. I didn't give them every tool they need because I don't know or have access to all tools, but I gave them everything I could. It is up to my children to use their tools, it is a choice they will make.

When they don't use their tools, they learn lessons and those lessons help them make their choices next time. It is a process and it can take time for them to understand which variables change their results. (God gives us tools like prayer, worship, gifts of the Spirit,etc. and it is up to us to learn how to use them- that's why the Christian walk isn't perfect (meaning why Christians aren't perfect) because we make bad choices as part of the learning process)

So if you are raising children, remember it isn't about you. You will do your best and your children will make choices about the tools you have given them. They will make wrong choices, maybe over and over, but it's okay because they will learn.

If you have raised children then you know how hard parenting adults are with all the joys and sorrows. It is the same as having a newborn...for everything that makes them great, it also makes them difficult and we, the parents, can't just "make them" stop doing anything, just like we couldn't "make" a fussy baby stop crying. (God is the ultimate parent, so follow how He does it and realize that His children are often doing wrong or going the wrong way (not because He isn't perfect), but He is always guiding us and searching for us when we get lost.He doesn't force us or "make" us do anything- He always gives us choice.)

Have faith that God is loving your children more than you do or can.

Have faith that God is making up the gap between your ability and your children's needs.

Have faith that you don't have to or need to be good at parenting.

Have faith and trust that God's plans are higher, better and ultimately perfect compared to your plans.

Have faith and trust God.