Being Blessed

I read one of my own posts from Spring 2017 and I was so grateful that I captured that feeling in words to reflect on today.

I wrote,“Being Blessed. I am actually in a state of blessing, just marinating in it, and enjoying the peace that comes from rest in the Lord. I have looked to God to provide the last 14 years and He has never not provided enough. Most of the time He provides abundantly, and today is another day of abundance, not just financially, but peace of mind, health, opportunities, and hope.”

This memory was a great reminder of what has happened over the last 4 years. I vividly remember feeling so at peace during this time, which was great. That peace started getting shaky the very next month in April, and then a little more in July, and then a lot shook in October and by December I was trying my best to hold onto all the peace and pieces I could.

Over the next three years (2018, 2019 and 2020) I would find that all of this peace disappeared, but in its place a new understanding of peace and calm would emerge. This new peace was good and I was grateful for it.

The pieces I was instinctively holding onto all crumbled in my hands like chunks of rocks and sand, but sand isn’t a bad thing. It does slip through our fingers, represent the passage of time and has proven to be unstable for building foundations, but it creates space. Because the sand wears away with its tiny grit texture any obstacles in our way, sand allows for ideas and items we won’t let go of to be removed from our clenched hands. And when we acknowledge that our hands are empty, we will finally let go of that tight grip and open our hands to receive.

That open space that the sand created allowed me to open my hand to new possibilities, new blessings and those blessing were just what I needed. Those blessings made all the uncertainty make sense and all the scary moments seem like a fun roller coaster. Yes, I needed to open my hand and accept what was being given to me instead of focusing on what I wanted to hold onto as if my life was depending on it.

Now I have a new understanding and appreciation for “Being Blessed”, so I can feel and know I'm blessed, at peace, being held and comforted in the midst of the worst tragedies. I can smile and have joy on my worst days and that be an honest expression of where my heart, mind and spirit are, not some "show" or "mask".

Growth is a beautiful thing. And change is part of growth, the part that brings about transformation. No one likes growing pains or change, but when you embrace it and let go of what you had, you are free to gain more than what you were holding onto in the first place.

So today I am Being Blessed. And I know, no matter what comes next in my life, I am Being Blessed. And that's a very good thing!